Chicken s***

Awful Tara might very well take away my membership when she sees what I write about today. It's not like I don't know better; it's just that I can't help myself.

I'm a little obsessed with awful rooster and chicken statues. It started a couple years ago. I have never actually bought one, which I feel it's important to mention here. The thing is, I find them to be ridiculous. Why in the world would anyone ever buy one? Yet, they're everywhere. And the more ridiculous they are, the more I love them. Go to like the home department at Ross or Marshall's or whatever ... brilliant.

So today I write about really good new plastic chickens at CB2.



Can you blame me? These come in three sizes and are priced to move. NOT TO MENTION that they are made of recycled materials and can be cleaned with a damp cloth (I'm not sure why that strikes me as even more hysterical). Also, each is unique, so you don't even know what goddamned color recycled plastic chicken you're getting. It's goddamned genius.

Everytime I see a really good rooster statue, I just imagine how hot it would be if I had like a whole room of chicken statues. All different shapes, sizes, materials. It might be the greatest room of all time. But since I'm not made of money and don't have, like, a spare room ... no dice. I'm thinking of converting my dining room to a meditation room - but a rooster meditation room doesn't seem like a thing.

But if it were, I would. For now, I'm going to go back to pretending I'm, you know, above the chicken statue.

FYI, the plastic ostriches are also f-ing hot. The pig is cool, but it's running a distant third.

plastic chickens at CB2